Am I really a writer?

Let me begin with a rhetorical question. Why didn’t I write since I last wrote on the website? 

I have done a lot of self-introspection on this, just like I tend to do for everything else happening around me. The answer has come easily time and again. I wanted to be in the right mindset to be able to write. And I thought I will achieve that mindset today, then tomorrow and then later or may be never. ‘Writing requires a headspace, you know!’ I told those who asked about the slumberous writing mood.

We all start a ‘thing’ with the best of intentions – there is a goal to accomplish. We are excited and nervous (may be) yet consumed by a desire for that positive outcome. To bring something to life can be immensely satisfying and ego-boosting. Words can yield even more power this way. 

But life gets busy to do it over and over again. 

A day turns into two and weeks into months. You know you should start. You know it is just the perfect time. You know you are secretly regretting. But you think of another time and place. If I were to simply dish it out – it is not a matter of mindset. It is about habits. More on the Power of Habits by Charles Duhigg at a later date. One of the stages before habit formation is prioritization. Thumb-rule – Unless you prioritize you will not be able to devour the sweet success. Prioritization is a skill, really. There are apps, podcasts, blogs and vlogs that make money to help you prioritize.

Unknowingly and unintentionally, I stopped prioritizing to write. I got caught up in the whirlwind. Until I realized I was connected to everything but myself. Until that message on my phone that told me that the website is not working. In a frenzied state of mind I tried to fix this with help from my brother-in-law. Emails from WordPress had been missed. New user registrations or sign-ups were ignored. Site and plugin updates conveniently forgotten. Then it hit me again – the purpose of writing. For the reason of starting this blog was not to explore a new ‘thing’, not to show-off a tragedy, and not to be a writer. It was to wet the pages with grief. It was meant to be a small and tender flower with a mild fragrance of positivity. To be a tiny ray of hope on a dark day – for years and years, even after I am gone. Writing is a legacy.

I grew up chiding myself for not being able to express well. I could never give words to thoughts despite the best of intentions. Writing taught me to be definitive. It helped me precisely feel and distinctively process emotions on paper. The goal was never to gain followers. It was to help you and myself grow through. Would you believe if I were to tell you that in professional capacity my LinkedIn profile reads Technical Writer? At work I write to simplify concepts and to educate our customers. Here in personal capacity I write to understand myself a little better every day. What you see as 500 – 1000 words on this blog is really an outcome of lot of self-introspection and self- consciousness. It goes without any saying that writing is a creative process – how you present your thoughts and how you establish that connection is key. But what writing requires is not headspace. It mandates just one element. Honesty. If you present your thought or emotion in its originality you will be able to write; and such kind of writing has the ability to touch. That is the purpose of my writing. And I believe that as long as I live a life of honesty I will be able to write.  

Tell me about something that you started or want to start but haven’t prioritized it yet. Hope my tryst with writing motivates you to do your own ‘thing’ in your own way.